A Tenebrous Heart Ablaze

by Jon Elbaz

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1.	Mist Chances 05:10		buy track
2.	Esther 02:22		buy track
3.	Dream of A Fatal Kiss 05:21	lyrics	buy track
A Loving you the way I do, is hardly freeing Cause I know that your kiss would end me Would stop my heartbeat Seeing you amongst a crowd Will halt my breathing Knowing that your kisses would end me Would Kill me sweetly B Every day I’ve lived I learned I’d Rather be alone Solitude can bring you so much happiness Is what I always tell myself When I’m alone I hear your voice And second guess My plan of staying focused on what I need, I don’t need you to love me The way you are already fills my heart to bursting even though I’d die for you to see me how i see you *** can I dream that A You could learn to love me too To want me fully Im asleep and your kiss will wake me C (dream sequence) Someone like you could love me (repeated many x) D Someone like you could be my only one (“until we fall apart and turn to ashes”) Flower in the desert, Wilting with the rain Buried in the Loneliness that only you can reprieve By squeezing til you’re rotting Beside me When i feel you Love me I will wither all away Cause I am wrong To want you at all A Little lamb lost in the woods Alone in darkness Yearning for a kiss that would end it
4.	Doctor at Night 02:28		buy track
5.	Sméagol's Scuttles/Grins 05:26		buy track
6.	Moldy Felt, Moldy Feelings 04:04		buy track
7.	Encircle and Enfold Every Angle 04:02		buy track
8.	The Queen's Regalia 05:58		buy track
9.	IDEAS FOR MY CONTEMPORARIES 1 02:33		buy track
10.	IDEAS FOR MY CONTEMPORARIES 3 05:06		buy track
11.	IDEAS FOR MY CONTEMPORARIES 2 05:46		buy track
12.	IDEAS FOR MY CONTEMPORARIES 4 04:39		buy track
13.	IDEAS WITH MY CONTEMPORARIES 02:09		buy track
14.	Melody 04:05	lyrics	buy track
Verse 1 Grateful every second that I Get with you, Touching you Breathing into your neck Kissing your nose, and when I finally have you Nestled in my arms I can exhale all my pain, The shadows so close, Couldn’t harm me anymore Every little movement from you Floats me onto a cloud All of this time, I have been waiting for you to come and let me love you Verse 2 To be somebody that you want around Late at night Sighing and smiling, Holding your face, and Giving all the love and care a girl like you deserves, I can let go of my hurt, The darkness around is now Nowhere to be found Golden light enshrouds me, every moment I spend with you All of my life, I have been longing for you to come and let me love you Holding every memory, With an amorous caress, think i must be sleeping, cause this seems dreamlike And when The dream ends I’ll still be better off because you Healed my heart Melody

about

Occasionally, circumstances provide an ample cache of thought and feeling that can be channeled for musical purposes. I’m always happy for these brief flashes of light; even though they often precede an extended tenebrous period, they give me something with which to work. When you’re in it, you often can’t see outside of it, but retrospectively we can appreciate such tunnels. I’m very glad to have music in my life, in part due to it serving to evoke memories and feelings far better than any photo could.

This album is roughly divided in half by the two main predilections of my spirit.

The first half owes a great debt to the 19th century’s romanticists and late romanticists, whom I have found over time to have written most of the melodies I enjoyed in pop music growing up. Additionally, these composers found ways of using involved rhythmic structures to accentuate the emotive quality of their music (as opposed to merely making it more complex and less accessible).

Furthermore, I have intermittently related to their sentiments.

The second half or so reflects my interest in modernist approaches to sound and texture, especially as they pertain to my instrument. One can’t be wallowing in the depths of limerence forever; eventually you realize that there are other outlooks on the world to express, in some cases very pointy, dense, and aggressive ones. The piano allows for quite a wide range of approaches.

As luck would have it, there are and have been a lot of badass pianists out there, and all of them have given me ideas and thoughts about our instrument. I gave “prism-ing” these thoughts through myself a shot.

The final track is a hearkening back to my roots: I grew up with Fuse and MTV2.

[PS: a few of these pieces ("Esther", "Dream of a Fatal Kiss", and "Melody") have lyrics that, while not included in the recordings here, definitely add something important to the melodies and chords. Instead of making a chunky and eclectic mélange of singer-songwriter moments and contemporary pianism I opted to stick exclusively with the latter for this project and to hold off on actually singing for now...the singer-songwriter album is coming in the future though...probably and almost certainly)]

Thank you to everyone in my life who has given me stuff to think about!

Thank you to Lily Wen for engineering the recording and mixing afterward.

Thank you to Eivind Opsvik for impeccable mastering work.

credits

released September 16, 2023

Recorded August 7th 2023 at MACDOUGAL by Lily Wen
Mixed by Lily Wen and Jon Elbaz
Mastered by Eivind Opsvik
Compositions by Jon Elbaz
Album Art by Jon Elbaz

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about

Jon Elbaz New York, New York

Pianist and Composer based in NYC.

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